One of the Best

I am currently in the middle of a move. Packing stage to be exact. packing up a 1000 sq ft apartment that has been accumulating stuff for 8, maybe 9 years. That’s a WHOLE lot of stuff. I moved into this apartment 3 years ago, when I moved in with Kat. (and even then I thought it had a whole lot)

For anyone who has moved, you know the stages. Planning to be organized, feeling really good the first few days of packing because you are starting with the big items. Then, as you start attacking the small items, the things in closet you haven’t looked at in years start to become overwhelming and you hit the next stage the “do I really need to pack all this, I should just get rid of some of these things.” So you start to get rid of some thing. Then you realize that you have LESS than a week to finish packing and you look around and it looks like a tornado has hit only your apartment. Bags everywhere, things you owe that you thought had been lost in the black hole that lives in everyone home, clothes that you haven’t packed yet because you still need to adult and work during this time, kitchen items that you can’t pack away because you still need to eat and are broke to go out because the move has eaten up all of your income, trash from cleaning out your closets, but not really cleaning just kind of transporting the stuff in your closet out of your closet. Obstacles to get to every room in the place are laid out in front of you, not really knowing how they showed up. At this point, you usually hit the “how is this never ending! UGH just get rid of it all!”

All of this also while working 70+ hour weeks is what Kat has been doing. She. Is. Amazing. And I sometimes forget. Humans, sometimes we get caught up in our own emotions and feelings we forget to see all things that are done for us. I forget. So Kat, Thank you for all you have done during this move. I love you o so much! I know it’s been crazy. I know I’VE been crazy!

I seriously have one of the best partners!

This One Fear of Mine…

Fear of failure. That’s what I am currently struggling with. It’s funny, I used to think that I could care less what people think of me and my actions, and to a certain extent, that is still very true. I don’t care if people think I’m crazy or wild or “out there”. Those things do not bother me.

But, lately I’ve been really feeling the pressure of aging. Getting older. settling into a passion that I can use and transform into work. Knowing that I will soon be out of my 20’s. Out of still being a “young 20 something kid”. No longer being able to say, “I’m still trying to figure things out”, and it be “ok”. Kat says that Astrology shows that this usually happens during these years in ones life. It’s the Saturn Return, and it happens every 29.5 years in ones’ life.

Why has it taken me so long to put myself and my skills out there? I’ve seen how possible it is to do it. But something kept stopping me. For a while, I just thought that I wasn’t yet “ready”. That my skills where not yet mastered. That I was going to start offering up my skills, soon! Always soon. Never now.

Fear of failure.

Self sabotage because of this fear.

Always starting over and beginning a new path. Never really putting myself out there because I didn’t want people to know that I actually don’t’ know what I am doing. That I don’t have it all together like I’ve made myself to be. The fear that not only will I know that I am a failure, because of course that’s been running through my head since I was a child, but that everyone else will know too. Affirming all those times I fought with myself, on how much of a failure I really am. No one can really tear you down like yourself.

That has been my pattern.

So now that I am aware of this, I’ve been trying to figure out how to get past this. Motivational videos have helped, as cheesey as that sounds. Another big one has been asking for help. Realizing that I can’t, and don’t need to, do this alone. So this is where I am currently. Surrendering and accepting the help.

BLAST FROM THE PAST SERIES

Not sure how many of you know that I actually started this blog back in 2015? 2014? I can’t remember, but it was a while ago. Because of financial issues and just procrastination, I did not renew the domain and all was lost! Or so I thought! I recently found out that if you have the exact website for a page on the web that has been taken down, you can still retrieve it from where ever in the interweb it is! Who knew!

So, of course I had to check it out! luckily I shared some of my post from the earlier blog I had on Facebook, and I was able to retrieve the link to that lost page. I was able to retrieve around 20 posts or so, and so I decided to start this new series on my blog . Every so often I will post one of the lost posts. That way you all can also take a stroll down memory lane with me!

One thing I was not able to get were the pictures that I posted with the blog post. So, so may have no pictures and some may have a few (if I can find those photos somewhere).

Taking My First Step In My Own Path

As some of you know, this past weekend I packed my bags and headed to Los Angeles on a journey that would for sure change my life. I didn’t know how much, nor did I imagine the enormity of how much my life would change.

A little under a year ago I was reading my emails, mostly scrolling and deleting without really paying attention to the subject lines, until one particular email caught my eyes. It was from Mira Kelley, a past life regressionist whom I had reached out to a few months back for coaching, but was unable to because of financial constraints. Her subject line caught my attention, she would be having a retreat for Past Life Regression certification, and to top it off it would be in Chicago! I thought, “Great, this is how I will work with her! And to top it off I would get certified in past life regression!”

Many obstacles came my way in the next few months, one being that the class would be relocated to Los Angeles; which would mean an added expense to the retreat. But I didn’t care, I had made up my mind that I would be in that retreat no matter what! I’m so glad that I didn’t let these obstacles stop me from going to the retreat, because I got so much from the trip, not just from the class but also from staying with family as well as the city of Los Angeles!

Words cannot describe all the healing and knowledge that I experienced in a short 8 days- which was how long my entire trip was – start to end.

First and foremost, I am so very grateful to Mira Kelley for creating such a great experience and class. She created such an intimate space for all of us, that making connections became inevitable. Secondly, a very special thanks to family who put us up for our trip. The bonds that were made were some of the most purest and loving connections I have made with family. This trip would not have been the same had I not stayed with them, that I am sure of.

And now that this amazing experience has ended, what is stored for me in the future? How can I give back and share all my knowledge? How do I go about integrating all that I have learned? I’ve asked myself these questions, and every time I receive an answer it’s the same one, “use the tools and help people gain the same healing I did when I experienced my own past life regression sessions.” So that is what I am going to do.

Jumping in with both feet, and finally embracing my path as a healer!

 There aren’t enough words to describe how thankful I am to have crossed paths with this beautiful soul!

Some Makeup Appreciation

Playing around with makeup before my little cousin’s Quinceñera. I’ve decided that I have way too much makeup to not use it regularly. I need to find a way to convince my sisters to let me practice new looks on them. You would think they’d be all down to get their makeup done, but whenever I want to they are too lazy to let me! LOL

I guess I just need to start practicing new looks on myself. Just do it Jessica! That’s what everyone always tells me! I guess I’m a little lazy too!!! HAHA